I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
