Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
