M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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