i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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