And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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