don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
