How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize