just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
