We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
