I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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