is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
