sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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