yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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