singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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