like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
