Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
