I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
