Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just google imaged poop.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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