He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
