i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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