Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
