He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
