I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
