no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize