After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
