if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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