I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
