I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
