at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
