Can Purell be used as lube?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
