On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
