Me. At least after what I've been through.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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