Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
