if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
