dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
