like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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