So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
