I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
