She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
