you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize