your thong is hanging out like whoa
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
