the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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