he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
