FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if only i could text you this smell
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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