Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
