I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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