How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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