You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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