I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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