I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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