take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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