I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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