You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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