Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
