Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
