im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
