i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
