at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
