I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
